Great Expectations

"Cherish your children for what they are, not for what you'd like them to be." unknown

As I was paying for my gas at the Kum & Go the other day, the clerk noticed that I was wearing my name badge from work. She catches her co-worker's eye and says, "Look, this is an "Infant-Toddler Specialist". The co-worker raises her eyebrows and says "Boy, I need one, I have a three year old that is a demon." So I went into my spiel about how 3 is a hard age because it's the transition from being a baby to being a kid and it's hard for the child to know from moment to moment which one he wants to be. She nodded in agreement and the proceeded to tell me what an angel her 6 yr.old is ;has always been and will always be and what a little hellion her 3 yr. old is and how she can't do anything with him. I told her that we get what we expect from kids and that she would do well to begin accentuating his positive qualitites or he'll would be out roaming the streets raising cain when he's 18. She admitted that he was doing better since he has been attending Headstart. And hopefully I started her thinking about how she talks about that child.

You know she probably tells lots of people what a "demon" he is and some of the time it is probably within the child's hearing. She might even say it to him directly. It doesn't take too many times of hearing us say it for a child to believe that what we say about them is the absolute truth. So soon Mikey "the little demon" is behaving like the best "little demon" he can be; reinforcing (proving) that you are indeed correct in your assessment that he is a "little demon". That's why it is soon important to never discuss a child's faults or bad behavior where they can hear you. Every young child has some good qualities; things that they are good at, even early evidence of future talents can be noticed. Be sure to let them know that you notice when they are kind, loving, helpful, cheerful, courteous, honest, any behavior or quality that you want to see more of and I guarantee that you will begin to see more of those qualities and less of that "demon" child.