In today's Daily Exchange (http://www.childcareexchange.com/index.php) there was an article about Real Work for Kids with Challenging Behavior. It echoed my own thoughts and experience on this issue. When I was raising my daughters I felt it was important to include them in all the tasks of running our busy household from the time that they were able to make a contribution.
So they put toys away, helped fold towels, washed the window on the storm door at the level where they breathed on it and placed their hands when looking out, etc. I probably started giving them "jobs" sometime during the year they turned two. My guiding philosophy in this was "never do anything for a child that s/he can do for him/herself'". The one caution I had was not to make a child my servant. I never asked them to do things just to save me steps in a job that was "my task". If I did ask for help in something that was "my task", I made sure that I answered in the affirmative when they asked for help or I picked up some of the slack for them at "their tasks" if I had a little extra time. That way they knew that we were a team, working together for the good of the family and we could depend on each other for help.
Giving children real work at home and in the classroom is a real way to develop self-esteem and self-confidence. When children feel confident and competent, they are better at tackling problems on their own without frustration and/or anger. They have accomplishments to be proud of and they don't need our cheap praise and constant recognition to keep them motivated and positive.
I especially liked what the article said about not giving praise if you have given a job due to behavioral issues. "Challenging behavior children were not given treats or stickers. They weren't put on a point system. And most importantly they were not praised for their work. Before you fall completely out of your chair, let me explain. Children that are "in trouble" all the time don't feel worthy of praise, plus they don't deserve praise. Why should we praise children for doing what they are supposed to do to fit into society? Sometimes when you praise these children, they will set out to prove you wrong."
I see this in Centers alot, trying to praise a child into positive behavior. I'm sure that many of my child care co-workers have thought that I was very stingey with my praise but I'm also sure that I had fewer behavior problems and more cooperation in my groups than most other providers.
Read the Article by Linda Ranson Jacobs and let me know what you think.
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